Consistent lateness. Always feeling rushed. Disorganised. Overwhelmed. Feeling like you have no control.
This has been going on so long now you think it’s who you are.
You think it’s a personality trait so there’s nothing you can do. You think that changing things, becoming the person who is on time and organised and feels in control, would require too much energy.
But you don’t have any energy left to give. You’re tired. So tired, sometimes you just want it all to stop.
But do you know what’s exhausting? What requires too much energy?
Staying where you are.
Showing up late. The pressure to prove you’re worth the wait. Saying you’ll finish on time but allowing yourself to run over. Paddling to catch up. Hustling to fit more in. Forever chasing your day instead of being in control of it.
These are the things requiring too much of your energy. Not because of the time they use up but because of the emotions you have to suppress and ignore and compensate for, before you can even think about the meeting you’re in or the task in front of you:
Disappointment.
Frustration.
Sadness.
Resignation.
Shame.
And the big one: Not Enoughness.
But you can change this.
The version of you who is never late, who finishes on time and who feels in control is available to you and will take less energy than you are using right now, just to stay afloat.
You just have to decide to be that person and then commit to changing one thing to get you started.
Not sure what to change?
Take your pick from some of the changes my clients are making right now:
- Review your calendar before your first meeting of the day so you know when your next commitment is (instead of stumbling blindly into the day with the thought that it’s going to be a crazy one)
- Start on time so you don’t feel guilty about finishing on time (instead of starting late and letting guilt dictate when you can finish)
- Finishing on time, even if you started late (instead of finishing late because you started late)
- Telling everyone at the start of the meeting what time it will end (instead of assuming everyone knows and agrees)
- Finishing a meeting at 5 minutes to the hour so you can be on time for the meeting that starts on the hour (instead of thinking you can end one meeting and start the next one at the exact same time! )
- Actively checking the time during a meeting (instead of only noticing the time when you’ve run out of it)
- Signposting to others 5 minutes before you close the meeting
- Closing the meeting exactly when you said you would
Doing any one of these consistently will feel uncomfortable. It will trigger your Imposter Syndrome and you’ll want to do things the way you did them before. Nothing has gone wrong.
It doesn’t mean you can’t do it or it’s just not how you are built. You are just learning to do things differently.
Remember who you are and how you got here. Feel the discomfort and lean into it. On the other side of this is the version of you who never has to work at being on time, organised and in control of your day. It’s just who you are.
Happy Friday,
P.S. In Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers one of the ways you progress to having more ease in your day job is by starting and finishing things on time. Enrolment for January 2023 opens on 6 December. If you’re a lawyer who is ready to feel less stressed, overwhelmed and disorganised in 2023, I urge you to apply. You can subscribe to the waitlist here: