No matter how much you achieve, your confidence never grows. Why is that?
The problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough or achieving enough. It’s that you’re not internalising your success. One of the common mistakes I see lawyers making is discounting and discrediting the successes they are having on a daily and weekly basis. They are so focused on the big successes, that they neglect the small everyday wins that grow your self concept and build confidence in who you are. How you know this is you:
– as soon as you achieve one success, you immediately set off in search of another – you keep your successes to yourself, so no-one ever hears about them – when you have a success, you look for and focus on the ‘fail’ lurking within it – you repeatedly say “I deserve to be here!” but it doesn’t change how you feel – you graduate to a more senior level without any formal process, and tell yourself “it doesn’t count” If this is you, then the first step to internalising your success is to celebrate your wins. In this episode I tell you exactly how to do this and what to expect along the way.
Here’s a glance at this episode:
Caroline Flanagan introduces herself and the podcast.
**Practical solutions for imposter syndrome [00:01:06]**
Caroline talks about practical solutions for imposter syndrome, specifically about celebrating wins and avoiding discounting or discrediting successes.
**The importance of celebrating wins [00:02:08]**
Caroline emphasizes the importance of celebrating wins on a weekly basis to build lasting confidence.
**Common mistake: discounting successes [00:04:04]**
Caroline discusses the common mistake of discounting or discrediting successes, and how it can hinder confidence growth.
**Common mistake: focusing on the fail [00:05:58]**
Caroline talks about the mistake of focusing on the fail, even when there is a clear success, and how it can lead to negative emotions.
**Common mistake: repeating “I deserve to be here” [00:08:00]**
Caroline mentions the common advice of repeating “I deserve to be here” to cope with imposter syndrome, but explains how it can be a sign of discounting successes.
**Discounting and Discrediting Success [00:08:59]**
Caroline discusses how people often discount or discredit their success, particularly when they receive a promotion without a formal process. This behavior is connected to imposter syndrome.
**Imposter Syndrome and Self-Sabotage [00:10:02]**
Caroline explains that imposter syndrome creates a fear of being found out, which leads to overworking, overthinking, playing small, or self-sabotage. Today’s focus is on self-sabotage, specifically discrediting or discounting success.
**Celebrating Wins [00:13:53]**
Caroline suggests celebrating wins as a solution to self-sabotage. Wins are small achievements that happen every day or every week, and celebrating them leads to more positive emotions, increased confidence, and greater visibility. The first step is to look for the win, which should be done at least once a week.
**Celebrating Wins [00:18:13]**
Caroline discusses the importance of celebrating wins and how to identify them, with examples of what constitutes a win.
**Recognizing the Value of a Win [00:20:51]**
Caroline talks about the value of a win in terms of what it says about oneself, and how to claim it as part of one’s identity.
**Experiencing the Emotion of a Win [00:25:19]**
Caroline emphasizes the importance of intentionally experiencing the emotion of a win, even in busy or stressful situations.
**Celebrating Wins [00:26:14]**
Caroline highlights the importance of experiencing positive emotions from a win, finding the emotion in your body, and sharing the win with others.
**Internalizing Success [00:29:04]**
Caroline explores the uncomfortable feeling of experiencing a win, changing how you think about yourself, and reinforcing the win by sharing it with others.
**Importance of Sharing Wins [00:29:54]**
Caroline reinforces the value of the win, helping others see your value, and triggering imposter syndrome.
**Practical Solution for Imposter Syndrome [00:34:28]**
Caroline talks about a practical solution for imposter syndrome, which is celebrating wins and avoiding discounting or discrediting successes. She also mentions common mistakes people make when it comes to celebrating their wins and how to change that.
**Anticipating Resistance [00:35:16]**
Caroline talks about how the brain might resist celebrating wins and how to anticipate that resistance. She encourages finding three wins in the last week and challenges the listeners to share a win while listening to the podcast.
**Discounting or Discrediting Success [00:36:06]**
Caroline talks about how people might discount or discredit their success, especially when it comes to automatic progressions. She encourages listeners to internalize their success and celebrate their wins.
**Imposter Syndrome Coaching [00:36:52]**
Caroline talks about how imposter syndrome coaching can help people recognize their wins, experience positive emotions, and share their successes. She encourages listeners to join imposter syndrome coaching to transform their confidence and progress their career.