You can’t short cut your way to confidence.
When you fake it ‘til you make it, all you’re doing is building confidence in someone you’re not.
This may work for a while. But when the conditions change or the task is different, you’re right back where you started: hiding behind your work. Afraid to be seen.
Proper confidence – the kind that grounds you and stays with you – is earned. You must be willing to experience fear and anxiety (not trick your way past it) and still put yourself out there:
Stand on a stage.
Publish an article on LinkedIn.
Seize that opportunity to deliver an internal training or get involved in a pitch.
You need to do all this not as the person you wish you were or dream of being one day. But as who you are now.
Some parts you’ll do well. Other parts not so well. So you’ll need to evaluate the results, probably experience more fear and anxiety, and then go out and do it all again. For as long as it takes.
I know this sounds hard. I know faking it sounds easier and quicker.
But when it comes, the confidence you’ve earned will take you further and sustain you for so much longer.
It doesn’t attach to a specific task or skill. It doesn’t depend on where you are or who you’re with. It is who you are and you can be that person everywhere.
In any room. At every table. In any crowd.
P.S. In Imposter Syndrome Coaching for Lawyers I support you to build your confidence as a public speaker. Enrolment is currently closed. For details of when this will reopen, join the waitlist.