Comparing yourself to others is normal. We do it without thinking. So if you’re feeling frustrated and angry because a colleague with the same PQE as you has just been promoted, I get it.
The problem with normal and doing things without thinking is that often it comes at a cost.
It’s normal to want to stay in bed for the whole of January instead of going to work, but it could cost you your job!
It’s normal to want to eat more sugar than vegetables, but this will cost you your health.
Checking your emails and scrolling on Instagram last thing at night? Normal. But it will cost you in terms of sleep quality and your ability to concentrate the next day.
Comparing yourself to others comes at a cost too. It’s a form of overthinking that will cost you one of the most precious things you have: Time.
Being frustrated about something you can’t control takes time.
Ruminating on why it should have been you takes time.
Complaining to your partner about how unfair it all is and how undervalued you feel; wallowing in disappointment and resentment. All of this takes time.
When you’re a lawyer, time spent overthinking in this way is time you don’t have. There are so many more important things you need it for:
- Doing actual work
- Delivering value to your clients
- Building relationships
- Increasing your visibility
- Spending time with those you love
- Taking care of yourself
These are just some of the more useful things you could be doing with your time, if only you didn’t waste it overthinking.
Stopping overthinking is easier than you think. The next time a colleague gets more praise than you, a bigger bonus than you or a better office than you, instead of wasting time ruminating and resenting, do this:
- Know who you are.
- Remember why you’re valuable.
- Trust that it’s enough.
These 3 simple steps will stop you squandering your attention on the career trajectory of your peers and bring it back to where it belongs: to you. To the work you are here to do. The relationships you want to build. And to the things within your control that will help you get the recognition you deserve.
P.S. The Imposter Speech Programme gives you a step by step process for knowing who you are, remembering why you’re valuable and trusting that it’s enough, so you stop overthinking and overworking and start getting the recognition you deserve. Enrolment for the next programme opens March 10th. Save the date.