Ask for Feedback

When you have Imposter Syndrome, asking for feedback does not come easily or naturally.

The thought of inviting someone to tell you, to your face, what they think of your work or performance probably fills you with dread. It is so much easier to keep your head down, do the work and just hope you’re doing enough.

But asking for feedback is important. You can’t rely on others to give it to you at the time when you need it and in a form that is empowering and useful. In fact, you can’t rely on others to give it to you at all. If you want to be in control of your career, then you need to be the one to ask.

I have 8 recommendations which you can follow right now to make asking for feedback 10x easier for you:

1. Make it easy for the person you are asking to reply in a way that’s easy for you to implement, by asking these 3 questions: What went well? What didn’t? What can I do differently/better next time?
2. Be specific – instead of “Can I have feedback on my performance on this deal” make it “my communication skills”, “my leadership skills”, “level of execution” etc.
3. It doesn’t have to be formal. Get feedback over coffee (you’ll build relationships at the same time)
4. Don’t wait for your annual review. Ask for feedback regularly. After every transaction, at least.
5. Decide who to ask, and don’t limit yourself. Consider not just the responsible partner, but the client, a peer, a junior, even a lawyer on the other side.
6. Do it quickly – don’t let too much time pass by.
7. Persevere – you may get a no or no response to your request. Remember that giving you feedback may not be the highest priority on someone else’s to do list. That’s doesn’t mean they won’t give it.  Keep asking.
8.  When the thought of asking for feedback triggers your imposter syndrome and stops you from following through, follow my 4 step process to solve it: 

• Normalise your imposter syndrome
• Remember who you are
• Trust you are enough
• Follow your imposter syndrome to your goal.