Don’t get out

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When one partner’s mistreatment of you feels like a coordinated attack

When you experience it like a full blown persecution

When everywhere you turn feels like a dead end and everyone you speak to seems out to get you

Don’t get out.

Lean in.

Lean in to what you can control.

When you think “they’re trying to get rid of me”

When you believe “they’re all in on it.”

When your brain offers “they’re trying to break me”

When you’re convinced you have no other choice, you have to get out

Make a different choice:

Lean in.

Lean into your career and double down on what you can control.

Leaning into your career means committing to being the best lawyer you can be and finding all of the ways you can be in charge of that.

Start by processing the negative emotion you’ve been bottling up for months. Give yourself time and grace to experience it and to have compassion for it.

Then redirect your focus away from the partner who has wronged you and into empowering thoughts that serve you –

I am uniquely valuable.
I am capable of anything
I know how to do hard things
Places like this need people like me
I can change the narrative
I have everything I need to succeed.

If you spent even 1/10th of the time remembering how powerful you are, as you do thinking about how wronged you have been, everything about your situation would be different.

You would be different.

How you show up would be different.

You would focus on what you can control.

You would throw everything you’ve got into your role.

You’d find partners that support you and show up for them like never before.

You’d broaden your network. Deepen your connections.

You’d go the extra mile for your clients.

Find bigger ways to contribute to your team

Seize every opportunity to showcase your value.

And because you showed up differently the outcome you create for yourself and your career would be different.

Interesting things happen when you focus on what you can control.

Doors open unexpectedly.

Support comes out of nowhere.

You hear positive feedback you never heard before.

You see opportunities you hadn’t noticed before.

Meanwhile the partner who mistreated you gets smaller and smaller.

The barriers get lower and lower.

While you just get bigger and better.

Until one day you notice they’re all out to support you.

To show how they value you.

To do everything in their power to keep you.

Don’t get out. Lean in.

With love,
Caroline