There are times at work when you don’t recognise yourself.
You’re in a meeting. Everyone around you is talking and contributing. You want to speak up and join in, but instead you just sit there. Minutes go by. Sometimes hours. And you still haven’t said a word.
Who is this person?
It’s not because you don’t want to speak. Or because you don’t have a view. It’s just that when you look for the courage to say something, every fibre of your being says no.
In your personal life, you’re not like this at all. Put you in a restaurant with 3 of your closest friends and there is no shutting you up! You don’t fret about what to say and worry what everyone will think when you say it. Or get so stuck in your own head that you miss what’s being said. You’re present and engaged. Sometimes you add to the conversation. At other times you lead it.
It’s easy to speak up when you’re surrounded by people who know you and love you. You feel safe. So you share your views without the fear of being exposed.
At work, things are different. You can’t rely on those around you to make you feel safe.
You have to create safety for yourself.
Creating safety so you can speak up in meetings isn’t complicated. You just have to know who you are and trust you are enough. It will calm your nervous system. It will get you out of your own head. It will free you up to focus on what’s in front of you and give you the courage to open your mouth and start speaking.
Knowing who you are is really the art of believing you have all the resources you need. Trusting who you are is the art of finding those resources, exactly when you need them, no matter who or what is going on around you.
It isn’t having the confidence to speak up in meetings. It’s finding the courage to speak up in meetings over and over again until you become confident. Even when no one responds. Even when the response is negative.
When you do this, instead of sitting there silently wishing for the confidence to speak up, you’ll learn how to speak in any meeting to anyone.
P.S. In Imposter Speech Coaching, I walk you through a practical process for knowing who you are, so you have all the resources you need. We go on to create your unique Imposter Speech so you can find those resources exactly when you need them. Then I coach you to go out and speak up in meetings over and over again until you become confident. Enrolment for the July 2022 class of Imposter Speech Coaching is coming soon.